Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Editorial- Yes the truth does hurt?

Hey guys! Instead of writing actual content that would be fun and useful to the majority of readers I just wanted to get on here and write a bit of satire about some things swirling around the interwebs yesterday.

Remember kids this is only satire, and I don't even believe half of it (except the part about hurricanes and earthquakes, that's for real, real, not play, play).

Q: How do you feel about the statement that Stelek is the best player on the planet?
A: Probably true. Heck probably the universe, the way people copy his armies and talk about Stelek's lists verbatim he's gotta be that good.  I think some corporate sponsors should pick him up and suit him in a race car driver outfit so we associate his awesomeness with their products!

Notice the big number "1" there on Tony Stewart? It's cause hes undefeated too.

Q: Has Stelek even lost a game?
A: No I believe for the last 15 years he has gone undefeated, as a matter of fact he can not be beaten by any man.  I know he has beaten both Marc Parker, and Mike Brant at the same time while playing 1000 points down. He's that good!

Q: Why didn't you play Stelek recently?
A: Well as I too am undefeated for the past 15 years, it makes it tough for both of us to stay undefeated if we play.  I made a risky judgement call and felt packing up my booth, and starting the drive home though whatever hurricane damage there may be early was a good idea.  I mean a hurricane and an earthquake in the same week? Surely a volcano was about the erupt, or riots or even an alien invasion would commence, so it seemed practical to get back home.

Q: So you quit a tournament? Surely you wont be even invited back, GASP!
A: Actually I conceded a game to an opponent, and we both handed our sheets directly to the tournament organizer who okay'ed them, and congratulated Stelek on yet another win. Gotta win 'em all!

Q: Would you consider yourself a "classy guy"
A: Not at all. In fact only one Sunday out of each month am I ever a "classy guy".  The rest of the time I am a fierce competitor, blogging to the word about my army lists and how I am the best at the Warhammers, and how to win you must copy exactly what I do.

I am also the best painter in the world, my primered/ washed unbased minis have been features in magazine and museums the world over.

Q:Should you be banned from tournaments for life.
A: Yes actually I think I should, that's the only way to give everyone else a chance to win, peroid.

Not only that but I should be banned from every forum (especially but not limited to Dakka, and BoLS),  so that the only place I have left to post anything about everything is my own blog.

Q: When you are bored and want your dose of daily gamer drama where do you go?
A: Oh hands down Blood of Kittens. Tastey has all the best stuff. I have even seen him partially naked as well. DELISH!

Q: Thank you this has been eye opening. Do you have anything else to say?


That's all I got. Hope you enjoyed it. -MBG


Brian Horton said...

This is one of my favorite articales EVER

Wumby said...

Ok, so reading his blog post, I get why he would be "disappointed."  Obviously, to him, he takes his Wargaming seriously.  Yet on the other hand to rant about it, is well, juvenile.  Some of what I'm writing may turn out to be juvenile also, but not everyone has the luxury of ignoring their livelihood after subsequent natural disasters, even relatively weak ones.  So a bit of understanding on his part appears to be in order.  All in all, I don't know much of this situation other than there was a game between you and he, and you conceded.  Unsportsmanlike?  Hardly.  The rants throughout the blogosphere is what is becoming unsportsmanlike.  It's all ridiculous.  

Tankertodd said...

LOL funny!!..I did not talk to him, but man he looked like a DB from far away!!!

spikeybits said...

Its all very juvenile. Stelek put the Tournament Organizer in a pickle by his remarks (which were incorrect), and you know what its not a big deal. But everyone is making it one, MVBrant is not mad, or banning anyone for any of this nonesense. 

idget said...

More sarcastic than satiric.
Still elicited a chuckle from meThingyh!

Big_Black_Fiend said...

God damn Kenny powers is Rock n Roll !!!

Big_Black_Fiend said...

Stelek and Dash ... Gehy sex games .

Parcival said...

What do I need to do to see Tasty Taste partially naked, too?

ChaosEngine said...

It's all so pointless! Stelek sounds like a condescending douche, Dash sounds whiny, Tasty is just trying to stir up trouble...

This though, this I found funny. Well done.

Richard Jordan said...

When massively over inflated egos collide..

ManusCelerDei said...

Juvenile and stupid, I'll happily throw that nova coupon out and keep buying from warstore.

crazyredpraetorian said...

Beer and Whiskey, just Beer and Whiskey.

TheKingElessar said...

Assuming it's true (since I wasn't there) that the author chose to concede before a dice had been rolled, but didn't make his opponent aware until after they'd already played two entire turns? Yes, that IS unsportsmanlike.  I'd go so far as to say very rude, in fact.  Not liking Stelek is one thing - but common courtesy to someone's face should be a minimum.

spikeybits said...

It is in fact 100% true that no one can read my thoughts. Again one very bias and inflammatory side has been presented on someones forum instigate discussion and drama, and it did just that. The fact of the matter is I am never going to publicly tell my side of the story, because whomever is the loudest on the internet wins (and that is not me).  I think the fact that one of us is not banned from any internet forums or gaming event, should speak volumes about whose side of the perceived slight is accurate.

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Spikey Bits is a blog about the hobby of Warhammer 40k and Fantasy Battles, both tabletop wargames.

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